An emotional day

Yesterday started very early with barking at 5:30am which woke Walt. He got up to check it out (we've had trouble with coyotes attacking the dogs) and found that our little white dog Angel was missing. He walked outside to where the noise had been but couldn't find her and couldn't see much. After showering and getting ready to leave for work he made a general search of the premises and took with him my sister's dog Phoebe who was very agitated. We've kept Phoebe for the past 3 years while LuAnne has been teaching overseas and the two dogs have become inseparable companions and playmates. No sign of Angel. Walt checked again on his break and lunch hour. She never turned up. It's now been a day and a half so we are sure we won't be seeing our sweet little dog again. Though she had her faults, it's always hard to lose a dog who loves you unconditionally.

The high point of the day was finishing my last radiation treatment. Yeah!!! Words can't describe how ecstatic I feel to be done at last. Those were the longest 3 weeks of my life. Although I only had 2 vomiting episodes, the nausea was an issue throughout. What a relief to have completed that part. I brought the office staff homemade cinnamon rolls to help me celebrate. The doctor explained that the radiation would keep on working on the cancer for several more months so they won't do an MRI until all that is "settled down" in about 2 months. In the meantime, I see my oncologist in a few days to go back on chemo.

My hair had finally grown back about 2 - 3 inches - enough to start looking like I might be able to get away with a short haircut. I was excited about this since we hope to go to the Philippines at the end of May for our daughter Megan's graduation from Faith Academy. In the tropical heat, I didn't want to wear a wig. Unfortunately I've been losing my hair in massive amounts this past week and the doctor assured me it would continue in spite of stopping the radiation. So for the third time I underwent the shaving process which my son-in-law never tires of doing for me :) This time, unlike the other times, I am unable to wear a wig to cover up my baldness due to radiation burns. My daughter is helping me experiment with scarfs. This part is hard for me. It's not only my vanity that suffers but I've always given it my best shot to not look like a cancer patient. Though I appreciate the sincere sympathy from onlookers and friends, I occasionally will find myself caught up in a bit of self-pity which does no good and dampens my otherwise can-do attitude. I prefer to envision myself as a healthy person with the strength, determination, and persistence to continue praying and fighting this through. But until my skin recovers, it'll be scarves and head coverings for me.

Did I mention it was an emotional day?

One more week to go

Still being plagued by nausea. In fact, had one episode of "tossing my cookies" just after Thursday's treatment. The new medication for this is only minimally helpful. Ice chips seem to help the most.

I mentioned fatigue last week that knocked me out (even while on a phone call). Turns out it was an old medication for nausea that I still had around and had taken. Drowsiness was listed as one of the side effects you might experience. Perhaps I should read the warning labels more carefully.

Our friends from church, Jeff & Lecia, have been our faithful prayer partners throughout this time. Others are praying as well, but Jeff & Lecia have been taking an hour or so every evening to lay their hands on me and pray for my healing. It's been a very uplifting time and brings me great joy - even on my "down" days.

Two weeks down and one more to go.

Radiation effects

The first week of whole brain radiation is over and I'm starting on my second week. Since I "breezed" through chemo, I was hoping that radiation would be easy as well. Sadly, it is much more difficult than I had anticipated. The nausea is what plagues me the most. It's fairly "low-grade" - if it can be measured by degrees. But to me, any kind of nausea is semi debilitating. I somehow find it hard to function at a normal level when my body is constantly hinting that vomit lies just below a shallow surface. The doctor was also surprised by this symptom since he claims he's giving me a low dose and most patients don't have the problem at this level. Lucky me! Medication has mostly controlled the issue.

Fatigue is the other problem. It's not been too bad except on occasion - but when it hits, it hits hard. I actually fell asleep while on the phone with a friend! (I'm talking sound asleep with dreams and everything!) A bit embarrassing to be wakened by my phone (I had it on speaker) asking me if I was still there. Thankfully my friend was very understanding about it. But I wouldn't recommend it as a friendship builder.

Six down, nine to go...

Do NOT try this at home!

Yesterday was my first day to get the whole brain radiation. They had warned me that it would be a long day because of measurements, xrays, and basically setting it all up. And they weren't kidding! First on the agenda was making me a "mask". They take a porous material - you can see the many holes - and wet it down which makes it pliable. Then it is wrapped over your face giving you the feeling of being suffocated in spite of knowing there are holes through which you can breathe. Just when you feel it is really too tight, it is pushed down further on your face and bolted onto the table. This is not for the claustrophobic. I got to stay in this position for quite a while as they made marks, adjustments, raised and lowered the table, twisted and moved my face by fractions until everything was just right. Except that it wasn't so we repeated the process several times. The very kind technician gave me a break from the dreadful mask now and then but I always had to return to it.

We found out later that my radiation oncologist is a perfectionist and wanted to get things exactly right. Now if there's ever a time for perfectionism, I say this is it. As far as I'm concerned, he could have taken the whole day if the goal was precision. I consider my brain one of my favorite body parts and one which I'd like to be able to use in the future to it's fullest capacity. (Oops...this leaves me wide open for editorial comment and unkind jokes.)

I was given my first radiation treatment after all was set properly - the actual radiation only lasts for a few minutes - and was finally free to go. I felt fine until a few hours later when queasiness and a headache developed, eventually reaching the throbbing level. I took an Aleve but was still hurting until my friends prayed for me. Immediately the pain decreased and after more prayer, disappeared altogether! Today's treatment was much quicker and there's been no headache. Yeah! The doctor offered me a steroid drug to combat the brain swelling but assured me I wouldn't like the side effects so if I could tough out the headaches, I'd be better off. However, he gave me a prescription just in case.

The countdown begins. Only 13 more treatments to go!

Fried brains, anyone?

I met with a radiation oncologist 2 days ago to see what could be done for the 4 tumors they found in my brain. My hope was to be able to have them individually "zapped", thereby sparing the rest of my brain from unnecessary radiation exposure. This is what made sense to my uneducated mind. What I learned is that the process to do pinpoint radiation is somewhat "barbaric" (a word the doctor himself used to describe it). A neurosurgeon drills holes into your head in order for a halo-type structure to be attached to it. The surgery is so exact that there can be NO movement. The more tumors you have, the longer the time that you will be immobilized. Since there are already 4 known tumors in my brain, the doctor suggested that it is likely that they could find more when a better, precise MRI would be done a day or two before treatment. That would mean possible immobilization all day long. But the main concern is not immobilization but effectiveness of treatment.

The doctor was quite clear that in his opinion the best course of treatment in my particular case would be whole brain radiation. It's when they give you a small dose of radiation over a period of time. In my case, 15 doses spread over 3 weeks. The side effects are hair loss - darn, it was just growing back - skin dryness, nausea, fatigue and cognitive issues such as memory loss and difficulty concentrating. I hate the sound of all this but it seems to be the lesser of evils. The doctor stated that I was fortunate so far in that I don't have any symptoms - headaches, dizziness, imbalance, etc - but said if tumors developed in my speech center, I could wake up one day and not be able to speak. Currently, the largest tumor is in my coordination center.

This has been a difficult decision to come to. I explained to the doctor that I didn't want to have radiation, then my life sucks, and I die anyway. He assured me that although he cannot make any guarantees, he did not believe this would decrease my quality of life but he did believe it could extend it and mentioned a couple of cases who are still alive today many years after treatment.

Because I've been taking an oral chemo drug which enhances the effects of radiation, I was instructed to stop taking it and then wait a week to allow the drug to get out of my system. My treatments are scheduled to start Monday, March 24.

Our friends from church, Jeff & Lecia, took me to a healing /prayer/worship service this week which was very uplifting. I love being prayed for and continue to pray in this direction.

Trip to North Carolina

Last week I was in North Carolina where I went to see a research scientist who specializes in cancer alternative treatments. Ultimately, I'm not sure if I will implement his suggestions but at least I came away with more options to chose from.

The trip turned out to be lots of fun. My dear friend, Liiza bought an airline ticket at the last minute in order to accompany me so I wouldn't be alone. I'm not shy about traveling by myself but it was much more fun to have my buddy with me. She also was my navigator while we drove around unknown streets and highways. I'd still be wandering around lost somewhere if she hadn't been giving me directions.

On one of the days I didn't go into the clinic, we toured the Biltmore estate - a massive castle like mansion built by the Vanderbilt family in the early 1900's. Their wealth in today's money is estimated at 93 billion and you can see how some of that was spent when you take the tour. It's a mind-boggling and fascinating structure. We also got in on freezing cold weather - waking up to heavy snowfall a couple of days.

Through some interesting circumstances, I was invited to stay with a lovely Christian family for my last 3 days after Liiza returned home. Some friends invited me to visit their mostly black church where we had a rockin' good time. That evening I enjoyed a tiny home church service. Everywhere we/I went we met friendly, lovely people who opened their arms to welcome us. So if you ever have a chance to visit Asheville, NC....I'd highly recommend it!

Bad news

A couple weeks ago I had my periodic PET scan which is a full body scan and lights up any cancerous areas. The doctor called to say they were seeing "something" in my brain and wanted to get a better look at it with an MRI. When my brother remarked that, "We know there's nothing in your brain", I wished for once that he was right! Unfortunately, the second scan showed 4 small lesions (cancer) - the largest measuring one cm. Even at that size it's bigger than I'd like.

The oncologist says radiation is the standard treatment but I've decided not to go with that option for now. I hate the idea of having my brain radiated and the side effects have the potential to severely decrease my quality of life. The other option that was offered was the combination of 2 oral drugs - Xeloda & Tykerb. Xeloda is a chemo drug which I'm currently on but is giving me horrible side effects...red, itchy, blotchy, swollen, painful rash on my face, head, hands and feet. I'm trying to live with this but it has at times been difficult to grasp anything with my hands and painful to stand or walk. So I'm not sure whether I can continue taking it. This is frustrating since it dwindles my medical options.

The doctor refused to give me a prognosis. He says with new drugs coming out all the time, no one can say for sure how long a person is likely to keep going. I have chosen to continue to be hopeful and live my life as fully as possible. The good news is that I feel perfectly fine (other than drug side effects). No headaches, dizziness or vision problems for now.

I'd appreciate your prayers for my family - esp. my girls as this is most difficult for them. Thankfully, I'm not feeling too anxious, depressed or scared. Surprisingly, it's usually the opposite - cheerful and upbeat. Not that I don't have my moments but obviously I'm being lifted above the circumstances through people's prayers. Thank you.

New chemo drug regimen

Two weeks ago my oncologist agreed with me that the IV chemo therapy I was on didn't seem to be working as we had hoped. I continue to have a breast tumor that doesn't seem very responsive to the chemo we were using. In light of that he switched me to an oral chemo drug (Xeloda) and ordered a PET scan to see what the progress has been so far. I've been on Xeloda before but was unable to continue it due to a severe itching / red rash it gives me on my face. However, we decided to try it again but added an allergy med along with it to try and combat that problem. I've already been through a one week on, one week off cycle and the first week ON was fine, but the week OFF was quite itchy and miserable. I've just now started the second cycle and am ON so will see how this goes. This time I will continue the allergy med even on the week OFF and see if I do any better. I really want to be on this medication because it has been shown to be fairly effective on my type of cancer, it's less harsh on my system and doesn't cause hair loss. It's also nice to be able to take it at home without the hassle of being hooked up to IVs for hours at a time.

Ready for a break

Last Thursday - Jan 24th - I started feeling some steady pain in my chest. Didn't think much of it until it became persistent and started working it's way up the pain Richter scale. Everyone knows not to mess around with chest pain and this being late in the day, I ended up making a visit to the emergency room of our local hospital. By the time I got there the pain was at a whole new level of intensity. In spite of this, within minutes the doctor assured us it was most probably NOT the heart (it wasn't) but a condition called Costochondritis - an inflammation of the cartilage that connects the ribs to the sternum. (According to my husband, this is similar to Costcochondritis, the inflammation in his brain - and wallet - when he goes to Costco.)

After bloodwork, x-rays, prayers and a simple over the counter pain reliever from my purse, the pain died down and they sent me home. I ran a fever the next day, then felt progressively better. I'll see the oncologist tomorrow and see what he makes of it - if anything. My personal take on it is that my poor immune system has had all it can take of chemo and is screaming for a break. There's that fine line between killing the cancer and killing the person.

Overall, I've done remarkably well with all the chemo I've been given. Six months' worth since starting this last program and on and off before that. But I've been hit by a couple of viruses going around which again emphasises that the ol' immune system ain't what it used to be.

Happily, my normal state of affairs is lots of energy, feeling good, and going strong. That's probably why I'm so frustrated when I hit a speed bump and have to slow down. Ah well....perhaps it's for the best.

I beg to differ - Walt

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Lineage

Everly Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family photos

Guaranteed to offend some (but try to see the humor)

It all started with my complaint to the oncologist. How do I word this delicately? "Is there something you can recommend for dryness?" With the discovery that female hormones are a contributing factor to cancer growth in "female" cancers, one of the current treatments involves medications to slow or stop production of hormones. This results in menopause and all the fun symptoms that go with it, including dryness. (I'll let you figure that one out.)

"Unfortunately there's nothing medically I can give you, but I have a patient who has found a product that she feels is so helpful that she is passing the word on to other cancer patients. " At this point, the doctor pauses before continuing. "The only thing is,uhmm.....you have to get it from a porn website."

"WHAT???" I yell. "Are you joking?"
"I'm afraid not," he answers sheepishly.
But my discomfort overrides my concern about the location of the product.
"What's the name of this stuff?" I ask.
"It's called....Eros." He smiles out of embarrassment at having to say the word out loud.
I just laugh. "Of course it is."

He writes the name of the product on paper for me to take home and do with what I want. But I'm deathly afraid to access any porn site on my computer. I've just changed email accounts due to the amazing amount of disgusting spam I was receiving and I don't want to trigger anything that would cause a recurrence of that. But then, inspiration strikes.

At my former job, there were some women who occasionally liked to buy "naughty" novelty gifts as gag presents for office parties. So I called the office. "Patti, would you do me a favor and buy me something next time you go to a porn shop?" I explained the situation and what I needed. When I finished she said, "I haven't been in years but I'll take you." She assured me the store she knew of was "tasteful" and not sleazy. Yeah, right.

I protested and threatened to wear a disguise but in the end, reluctantly agreed. I also called ahead to be sure they had what I needed so we could get in and out quickly. Confusingly under the name Eros, there were quite a few options, all of which were just a befuddlement to me. The manager was very accommodating and said she'd set a variety of products under that label aside for me.

Fortunately when we arrived, we were the only ones there. Upon entrance, you must pass through some security rails which made a noise as we walked by. "Probably taking our photo," I lamented to Patti. Choosing from among the variety of Eros products took much longer than I would have liked as I tried with some difficulty to keep from seeing anything else. At last I made my purchase and dashed for the car all the while wondering, "Isn't there an easier way?"

I'm open for suggestions.

Going, going, mostly gone

If I were a dog, I’d be a hairless Chihuahua. Emphasis on hairless. On the positive side, I no longer need to shave my legs, armpits or worry about moustache hairs. On the other hand, I do miss my eyelashes (which departed last week) as well as my eyebrows. It’s getting harder to continue looking female. I actually went out and bought a pair of false eyelashes but the process of applying them was quite a bit trickier than implied on the box. When my success was limited to getting glue inside my eye causing a burning sensation, I decided to give it up as a lost cause. Now I’ve got penciled on eyebrows (like the ones I foolishly made fun of in my younger days) and eyeliner where once I had lashes in the hope of giving the illusion of feminine makeup. Not that I have the hang of it completely. On bad days when the eyeliner gets smudged, it looks like I’ve been slugged rather than made up. Aw well. Such is vanity.

I’ve now had 4 rounds - going on 5 - of chemo (3 wks on – 1 wk off) since I started again this July. A new chemo drug was added to the mix for the past 2 rounds. The breast tumor which had grown quite large and was unresponsive to the first several rounds of chemo has finally begun to shrink. In fact, it’s close to HALF the size it was! Praise the Lord!!

There’s a wonderful couple from our church who has agreed to meet with me weekly to specifically pray for my healing. They both work full time as well as have children to raise and many other responsibilities so we have felt very blessed to have been given the gift of their time and prayers. Lecia has been visualizing God holding the tumor in His hand and His warmth melting it away like an ice cube. So we’ve been praising God for answered prayer.

Other than hair loss and some neuropathy (numbness) beginning in my fingers, I’ve had mostly no side effects from the chemo. My energy is great and I am pain free so can’t ask for much more. We have lots to be thankful for. In spite of no eyelashes.

A post from Feb 2007

Just found this older blog I meant to post way back when but it got buried in a folder and forgotten. Not that it's important but thought I'd post it anyway. More musings than anything else.....

In the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed a growing phenomenon. In spite of feeling fine almost all the time, there has been the occasional ache or pain which under normal circumstances would go completely unnoticed, but due to the fact that I have cancer now becomes a big deal. Never having been one to “freak out” easily over medical problems – just ask my girls how many times I have said, “You’ll be fine” even if evidence points to the contrary – it frustrates me to be worried so easily. On the other hand, how can it be helped? A few weeks ago I had a pain in my shoulder that grew in discomfort until I finally took a half tablet of Tylenol. (This is a big thing. If you ever catch me taking a WHOLE pill – call an ambulance.) I seriously considered contacting my oncologist to see about ordering an MRI but it was late on a Friday and I decided to wait it out through the weekend and see what transpired. The pain went away and never returned. I’ve since had other “tweaks” of aches and pain here and there, none of which ever stayed very long or deserved a half tablet of anything. But the fear has come every time. And the “what if’s”. I put away the list of songs I was collecting for my memorial service when I began to suspect I wouldn’t need them quite yet, but it’s a battle of the mind to resist going back to those thoughts when aches and pains arise. Fortunately they are quite rare.

Catching up

I've been very remiss about keeping up this blog. Several friends have reminded me (gently) that I should update it. So much has occurred that it's hard to know what to say so I'll summarize.  Back in Feb or March, I noticed some lumps growing in my breast again - same area as before. Started with one, then 2, then 3. Soon they were starting to merge. Of course, I pointed this out to my doctor at each visit but he was not terribly concerned at first. Eventually, he started me on an oral chemo from which I got a horrible red, itchy rash all over my face. Only got half way thru the first cycle before having to discontinue. A PET scan was finally done which showed that the cancer had grown back in most all of the places it was before though not quite as bad as it originally was. But bad enough to need IV chemo again. Of course, this has led to the second round of head shaving and wigs.

The most recent PET scan (as of a couple weeks ago) showed mixed results. The tumor on the liver and in most bones was improved but some lymph nodes, thorasic spine, and breast tumors were worse. A new chemo drug has been added to the mix now and we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, I'm still exercising, taking my nutritional supplement, and doing a smattering of alternative things. The good news is that I feel fine with energy, stamina, and generally a good outlook.

This summer was an emotional roller coaster with Meg (our youngest) returning to Faith for her senior year, my sister, Lu returning to Saudi Arabia, and finding out that a woman who had the same cancer (with the same metastases) as I, had died. We had been "holding each other's hands" over the phone and praying for one another. She was a support to me and her death was devastating since she seemed to be doing  well. Thankfully she was a dear Christian so she is with Jesus. But I miss Paula.

January Update

Since I’m doing so well these days, I don’t always have much to tell. But now I do have a couple more good news items. A year ago I had a bone density test which shows whether or not you have osteoporosis and the degree to which you have it. This was to get a baseline as I enter my “elderly” years. At that time, it showed my poor bones to be in the osteopenia range – a precursor to full blown osteoporosis. A year later – my bone density test shows improvement in all 3 areas tested. Two areas are back in normal range and the third is just a hair below normal. And this despite a bone cancer diagnosis!

On top of this, my last week’s tumor markers showed the most improvement so far – both well within normal range! Yipee!

Thanks for the many prayers.

Continuing to Improve

It’s hard to believe that my health continues to improve, but that is exactly what’s happening. Four weeks ago my oncologist gave me a complete exam and was very impressed by my progress. This doctor has been quite optimistic from the start but even he seemed genuinely surprised at my obvious energy and stamina. His comment that I was doing “better than average” was an understatement.

Last week bloodwork was drawn. My white count (immune system) is continuing to climb but the best news is that my tumor markers have dropped significantly again putting BOTH into the normal range!! It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago we weren’t sure there was much hope for me. Once in a while I’ll remember an activity or movement that I wasn’t able to do before but am doing easily now, and I’m sooo thankful!

In the midst of my joyful progress is the sad reality that not everyone with cancer is doing so well. A dear family friend recently passed away, another one was recently diagnosed and a couple others are in the throws of treatment and even hospice. I write this to remind myself that there but for the grace of God, I could be. Thanks again to all who have been praying.

With gratitude,

Yvonne

Good News!

There are so many good things to report that I thought another update was in order. Those of you who live near enough to see me in person will know how well I’m doing, but for those who don’t, I will tell you. Although I didn’t think I was doing too badly before – my interpretation being that I wasn’t in constant pain – I realize now that my limitations were more severe than I wanted to admit. The cancer in my lymph glands under my arm and in my breast were hardened to the point of not being able to raise my left arm above my shoulder level. The bone pain in my ribs prevented me from being able to cough or sneeze without intense, searing/burning, excruciating pain. Even laughing was uncomfortable. Hugs had to be very gentle to avoid pressure. Turning from side to side in bed was painful and Walt had to help me get to a lying position. Halfway through the night, I’d have to go to the living room and try to get comfortable on the recliner chair we borrowed. I had to curtail my morning jogs early on when the jarring movement hurt too much to continue.

That was then. About a month ago we started noticing changes. Turning from side to side at night without pain enabled me to stay in bed through the night and thereby get better sleep. Little by little we noticed all the above mentioned problems disappear. Sometimes I didn’t even realize things were improving until my family pointed it out. Miriam watched me laughing one day and reminded me that it used to hurt to laugh. Now there is absolutely NO pain or discomfort of any kind to deal with.

Yesterday we got even better news. The doctor said the PET scan I had done last week showed so much improvement that he took me off chemotherapy after only 8 weeks! I will still be getting Herceptin – a drug that works with your own immune system to fight the cancer, but instead of weekly treatments, he changed it to once every 3 weeks at an increased dose. To top it off, my 2 cancer markers are vastly improved with one of them back within normal range!

As you can imagine, we are thrilled with this good news and the speed at which it has happened. There is still cancer present so the fight persists, but it is great to have hope. We have learned not to take anything for granted and every morning I wake up and thank God for a wonderful new day. I expect that everyone who is reading this has prayed for me at one time or another – many have said they pray for me daily. What a wonderful gift you’ve given me. It’s very humbling to be on this side of so many prayers and well-wishes. What a joy to have much love and support. We are so grateful.

Wigs!

Last night I couldn't stand another day of thinning, graying hair falling out everywhere so we had a shaving party. My daughters, Miriam and Hannah had a great time cutting what was left of my hair into various looks including a mohawk and a punk rocker. In spite of the fun and laughing we did, in the end I felt the loss as I caught a reflection of myself in the window (while trying to avoid mirrors). As I left the room to cry Hannah followed me, put her arms around me and told me how beautiful I was to her. Walt & Miriam followed suit a few minutes later. It's wonderful to be surrounded by people who love me no matter what I look like!



Next, we began trying on wigs! Walt suggested that instead of shaving their heads in solidarity, that they all wear red wigs. We laughed at how funny my blonde daughters looked as redheads. The long, straight wig made Hannah look like she was from the 70's. The short, curly wig gave Miriam a "Shirley Temple" look and the short, straight one I wore hopefully looked "just right".

2 week update

  On Monday, the 18th I went for my 4th treatment. No chemo that week but they gave me something to "strengthen the bones". Said it would make me feel like I had the flu. They weren't kidding! Didn't hit me til the next day but was enough to be very uncomfortable. Besides the flu-like symptoms, there was also muscle pain in my legs. I finally took some Tylenol and laid down for a couple hours. Felt better after that. Very grateful the symptoms didn't last any longer than they did. This past Monday (25th)showed my white count was back up again - almost double what it has been the last two weeks! The dr seemed surprised at how well I've felt and esp. at my energy level being so high. I've also noticed a reduction in my pain at night. Main perk is being able to turn from side to side without discomfort which has improved my overall sleep. They added chemo back into the regimen this week but the dr said he may be able to take me off chemo and just use Herceptin if the cancer is responding well. He will run tests in a month.

Looks like my hair is finally succumbing to the chemo. I'm getting piles of it in the shower drain as well as on my brush and pretty much everywhere else. I'm afraid there will soon be rules for me like the dog who sheds - "Dogs and Yvonne stay off the furniture". I still have enough to be presentable but went wig shopping this past weekend in preparation for baldness.

In an effort to help me answer my email, my dear husband set up this cool blog site for me. (I'm still learning how to use it.) However, not everyone likes this method and some have said they have trouble accessing it. Plus, I fear that it sounded like I'm too busy or tired to receive and answer emails. I admit that it's sometimes tricky getting every email answered in a timely way but I like to try and I certainly don't want to discourage anyone from writing. If you'd rather get the updates in email form, please let me know and I'll set up something for those people who prefer that.